Hi all. Well it's been a long time since i pour my words here. Everything keeps on rolling. Memories on each day will be forgotten just like wind without any permanent scar to rely back on.
It's been a month since new semester re-open. And a month since me and my fellas crash on our new apartment. A simple, yet homey apartment. At least we have place to sleep and fight with storm. Maka beramai-ramai la kami dalam satu apartment. Facing 5 heads, different character, attitude and style. There, learn to deal with everything.
bukan rumahku.
Hopefully, everything will always be great. Yet, life with no problem is no life at all.
Entri ni dikarang ketika aku berjaga seorang diri pada malam hari.
Suasana pada jam 2.30 pagi ketika ini memang sunyi sepi. Hanya bunyi ketukan-ketukan jari jemari ku yang seolah menari di atas papan kekunci komputer riba, beserta deruan kipas yang sarat dengan debu dan segala kotoran degil. Kedua rakan sebilikku sudah lama ke alam mimpi. Sudah di bulan barangkali.
Kenangan di kampung halaman menerjah minda ku. Kadang seolah tidak mahu lesap dari kotak fikiran. Bayang wajah abah, ma, dan adik-adikku bermain di setiap ceruk minda. Mataku mula kabur dek basahan air masin dari kelenjar mata. Hati dan perasaan yang seolah tidak mampu lagi menanggung beban rindu yang terlampau. Betapa beratnya rasa menanggung bebanan rindu ini. Ah, tak mampu ku tahan lagi.
Cukup! Cukup! Cukup menyeksa diriku lagi. Biar aku.....
menyanyi dulu..
Called mama tadi. Tapi tak angkat. Dah tidur barangkali. Malam ni rasa sangat stress. Stress = tertekan.
Suddenly I felt like I'm doing something wrong. Macam tak happy je buat apa-apa sekarang. And even more stress, when I don't even know why it is wrong. Or what I want to do to feel good.
I am independent. Egoistic. And self-centered. Heheh. *pengakuan berani mati.
Because sometimes u just be it. Especially when u feel ignored or annoyed or provoked by something. And also when u're not appreciated after sacrificing. It's not that u do a good deed for repayment. No! But at least, don't insult something sincerely done.
But sometimes, mesti nak rasa kita sorang je betul kan? Well, learn from mistakes.
Berpusat pada kaki sendiri = independent.
Dear Natalia (bukan nama sebenar),
I am here to tell u that I am sorry. For anything. Because seriously, I don't know why u behave like that. Or maybe I'm not aware of my mistakes. But please, do tell me my wrongdoings so that I know, and I can try to change. Coz I don't prefer silence as a good lesson.
